Stain-glass Eyes

I was going through my "Family" file to delete some very old emails and found one from my sister, Karen.  It made me smile.   3/4/12 Karen Meehan   < meehankj@gmail.com > Enjoying your Blog Margaret.  I check every day and am excited when you have a new posting. It has been wonderful for me to be able to be part of your life through your Blog.  Thank you for writing and I wanted you to know that it is very much appreciated and enjoyed.   Hugs, Karen Her voice was so there.  Loving, thoughtful and very personal.  She always let me know her door was open. Her encouragement helped me in a time when I wondered why I was writing and to whom?  An audience can be a very vague thing.  Her big-sister-feedback was nurturing for me.   Small notes, texts, phone calls, messages left on voice mail, letters in the mail, emails, coffee or tea invites, give you voice.  Each voice unique....

Moving through sad feelings to the other side has been difficult for me lately. I’m a bit surprised.  I thought with all my experience and practical practice getting through tough times I would have more ballast to help give me stability in rough waters. Picture from Chicago to Mackinac Race I sway back and forth.  Happy-Sad, Happy-Sad.  When I tip too far over on the melancholy side I just want to lie down on my soft couch, the hard floor on my yoga mat or my bed with the shades closed. It really isn’t any use fighting this feeling.  I guess that’s what the “Being Emotionally Healthy” experts say.  Let it be what it is.  Let it take it’s course.  Ride the dragon. But, there comes a point in time when not letting myself succumb to shutting down is crucial.  That much I’ve learned from experience.  A sure relief is getting outside, getting away from the familiar, moving my body.  If it’s moving toward the sw...

My son, Holden has decided to postpone his top surgery for a couple of months. Prepared to go tomorrow I’m a bit stunned by his change in plans.  Writing seems to help me put things in perspective. It’s not about Holden changing his mind and how this affects me.  It’s about what he is going through, how he’s processing what he needs.  This is a very important time in his life. I’m not getting on the United Airlines flight tomorrow to travel to Berlin.  My tickets are cancelled.   Supporting Holden right now is supporting his decision.  I love him and trust he’ll get through this set back.    But….oh how I want to be there.  To be his mom.   Holden, During the Lunar Eclipse We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.   e.m. forster

Fetal position    Fear Anguish Helplessness Moments we have a reaction of, “Mom? Mommy? Momma?” The umbilical cord is quite an extension chord.  And when we need help it seems to be there to draw us back. I think it’s a biological response.  Because mothers desert their children, mothers control their children, mothers die leaving their children motherless. I think we learn to draw inward to tap into the mothering we were given by a nurturing adult, male or female.  The reserve or fuel we’ve accumulated over the years.  We can use it calm ourselves, stroke our own face, tap into to our courage and ignite power as an individual.   I’ve know people who were nurtured and given motherly love by their fathers.  I know some who were emotionally raised by their older sister or brother.  Some by adoptive parents.  Some raised by two males or two females as parents.  And, honestly some by their sp...