Stain-glass Eyes

Heart-Shaped Nature "The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live."                                                                                                                       Flora Whittemore There are times when I draw inward to learn about myself, and it’s an encounter of detours. It’s like I hit a trap door with a projectile apparatus. As soon as I step on a closed door it hurls me into the air. I don’t think I put the trap doors there. I think they’re normal avoidances. Ways of staying on the surface of things. It’s almost as if my heart knows it won’t be easy and protects me. So, when I figure out even small things about myself, it’s a victory of sorts. I seem to know more of what I want out of life - bit by bit - because I know more about myself. I can’t expect the knowledge to be handed over to me like wrapped gift waiting for me to rip it open. Patience is helpful within reason. Excuse lists can be painless to

Me looking for Magic in My World I’ve been tracking my mood in my "Bullet Journal" the last couple of weeks. I made my own little graph. It’s interesting what it’s done for me. Initially I wanted to track my mood because when I meet with my therapist the first thing he asks me is, “How has your mood been?” Usually I only remember a couple of days and the rest seems a blur. It’s not very helpful. But the graph was more telling. January and February are low-sunlight months and follow major holidays.  I have to up my strategies to keep my leverage. Another factor (since I live in Michigan) is how much winter weather can deter my freedom of mobility (walking, driving and I can't swim  in the Great Lakes!). I question myself each day, “What’s your mood?” I’ve found when I keep track I feel more responsible where my mood falls. I saw it dip below 4, (out of 10) and I wondered why. I had to honestly admit a recent loss was also a factor (m