Stain-glass Eyes

I’ve been in the Upper Peninsula with my Mom for a few weeks. It’s been a strengthening time for me to think. I’ve been able to gather up my thoughts about the change in seasons which can sometime be difficult for me. (Depression) While I write I take the time to look out my mom’s window. The leaves fall and the gray clouds and storms pass through. There are more flocking of birds and less and less sign of tourists. I definitely rate Fall high. The cool winds have my number. They know I can’t resist their touch. My skin reacts with pleasure when I begin to feel chilled. Pretty much how I feel when I snorkel in the cold waters of Lake Huron. I tell people it’s my drug of choice and I believe it is. It gives me a high like nothing else. It has a long-lasting effect of euphoria on me .   I pause from writing on my laptop and close my eyes and imagine the cool water surrounding me under water. Yesterday the rain kept pelting down as soon as I slid into the wa

When I was younger I could be easily led to anger if someone irked me. I use to tell myself it was the Irish Temper I was born with.   Someone intentionally irritating me started it off, but the reaction I gave to it was really the only thing able to ignite the fire intended to burn. I’ve learned a tremendous amount of patience over the years. But, I’ve found out it’s not only patience I need to cool my reaction. I’ve learned I can deflect the harm that may have been intentionally sent my way. It doesn’t always work, (especially when I take the harm personally). I’ve opened myself up for pain and it results in anger. It’s like the way a shark latches onto its prey. It doesn’t release, it keeps thrashing it back and forth sinking the teeth in deeper and deeper. The pain gets set deeper and deeper and I’m in shreds. “Just ignore it”….. I’ve given the same advice to others. Not so easy when I’m seething inside and I force myself to put on a sticks-and-s