Crow or Human?

 

I’ve spent most of my life believing I understand people. Now, not so much.

First of all, if I was truly going to understand others I’d have to peel away my own complexities to understand myself. 

Their inner layers are deep and sometimes I’m tempted to bounce over “take-off-the-peeling” part and just throw them into a pot, generalize and be done with the hard work of understanding their intricacies.

So…another dig. I can pare under the outer epidermis of myself, but so many times I feel a slight wrinkle and wiggle and quickly let it grow over again. A dig means there are some surprises which lead to further digs. It can help me know more about me but it also be terrifying.

It does intrigue me though. It’s a challenge. (The fact I have a need to live in a world other than my own is also an incentive)

Honestly, maybe other people are not open for anyone to understand them. Maybe I’m not either on any given day of the week. Our shields and camouflage are firm layers.

For me time to discuss things is important. Not just having “Enough” time but not taking “Too much” time. I personally need time to process ideas and another’s perspective. It takes a lot of energy and focus to communicate. Overload zaps my will to keep the dialog open.

 

I don’t mean one sit-down, either. It may mean weeks, even years, for communication to become more relaxed between two people. And yet we have to be diligent not to think we know. Truths are to be understood clearly.

I’m retired and even I find time a huge factor! I don’t remember how difficult it was being married, working full-time and raising a family. Phew, uphill work. Like a squirrel flitting from branch to branch trying to figure out whether it’s going up or down.    

Something I do know about myself. I mistrust motives. Intentions. Fabrications. Even how much effort someone is investing in the process of communication. I mistrust my own use of assumptions and general inferences.

My ego can get in the way of me being able to put myself in a chair directly across from someone. To feel what they feel. And figure out what I feel. If I take time to sit in the chair I might as well leave my ego in the corner to stand by itself. Otherwise there goes the empathy.

Then there’s the word choice. If I take time before I speak, I’m more likely to get ideas/emotions/facts into words more accurately. I’ll always be a Yooper. I may not have the finesse but I do have the Sisu.

My sixty plus years of experience reminds me my thinking/communication ability is what makes me human. It’s what makes me different from all other animals. 

I enjoy watching the crows out my window. They’re smart, but I think I can go way beyond their ability to figure out humans. I hope.....