We Can All Be Mothers

Songs, poetry, movies and jokes have been made about mothers. Mothers have made hero status in scores of people's lives. And a villain in other’s.

I found this definition of “Mother” which I hadn’t heard of before:

noun: a stringy, mucilaginous substance consisting of various bacteria, especially Acetobacter aceti, that forms on the surface of a fermenting liquid and converts ethanol to acetic acid, as in changing wine or cider to vinegar.

Not the definition I would use for my mother.

We cling to what we feel the definition of “Mother” is to us. I hope not too tightly because it changes as we mature and it doesn't need to have a narrow meaning.

Our ability to love our mothers unconditionally gives us possibility of receiving unconditional love in return. The joke is on you when you realize you’ve become your mother in surprising ways. (Brothers can identify with this as well. I’m pretty sure my brothers know how to clean up a kitchen well with the best of us).

Perfection is hilarious in motherhood, ( I speak from experience). Fortunately our memories cling to the positive as well as the negative. We shine and sometimes we step in shit.

I want to emphasize in my post--- “Mother” isn’t exclusively a female label or trait. It’s not limited to a person who has given birth to a child. 

I have seen males, nannies, adoptive parents, older sisters and brothers, aunts and uncles, neighborhood individuals and people who become hosts for immigrants be mothers.

People will say to me, “You’re lucky to have your mother still with you.” (Meaning she’s alive) And I agree. I feel fortunate. 

I think I would limit myself if I couldn’t receive motherly, nurturing relationships with those who aren’t my mother, though. To say, “My mother is gone.” Or “I lost my mother” has such finality to it and I say—-RECEIVE! There’s a lot of love out there to be had and memories to be made.

It goes the other way, too. GIVE!  Be a mother! Nurture. Be that person we all need. Life goes quickly and our chances to experience mother-relationships does too.

 

We can be the mother we have always wanted…the prospect is endless. 

I’d like to mention well-known and unknown people who never gave birth to a child but they have selflessly mothered us all. They’ve dedicated their life to seeing we have a better place in this world to thrive. Can you name one or two? I have a few in my heart I cherish as someone who has mothered me through difficult times.

Happy Mother’s Day to all of you.