Live Love--Thrive

 I saw this Native American Shenandoah proverb:

                                        It is no longer enough to cry peace, 

                                                  we must act peace, 

                                                         live peace, 

                                                    and live in peace.

I thought, “This is what I think love truly means - - It is no longer enough to cry love, we must act love, live love and live in love”.

It’s a daily practice for me. I’ve had to push aside what my American culture tries to shove down my throat as “Love” and be diligent about what my value of love looks like. I’ve come a long way and I’m sure it will be a life-long practice.

I put a Valentine in a guy's locker in high school because I had a crush on him. (I liked him) I got no feedback from him. At the time I decided, "He's just going to ignore me." I was hurt and angry at myself for exposing my feelings.

He didn’t even see it until four months later when he was cleaning out his locker in June. Assumptions and miscommunications. When I allowed him to explain we began dating and it was a lovely relationship. It lasted three years.

Love isn’t a seasonal something. It is every day.

Being a first grade teacher I saw children wanted to feel love. They didn't really care about the candy, cookies and cupcakes at the Valentine's Day party.

I saw it year after year. Most of the sweets were left on the plastic plates to be tossed into the trash so they could run outside and play together.

It sounds so simple. Show love, accept love. Some years I had more than 30 students in my classroom. I carefully spent the first five to six weeks working with them to see our class as a unit. A family. To practice love throughout the year.

I used Valentine’s Day weeks in advance of the party. Many of the stories I read aloud were about the concept of love. Most of my students lived below the poverty level and survived in dysfunctional circumstances. I used what I could to ignite their imaginations. To see possibilities for love. 

Just For Yu You (by Mercer Mayer) was one of many.

I used Charles Schultz's book "Love is Walking Hand in Hand" as a starting point for my students to write their own "Love is..." sentences. 

I like how a few of Schultz's examples don't actually involve interacting with another person. They are about living love.

One example in the book is “Love is...liking ideas.” (Linus is reading a book) 

Another is “Love is...being able to spot her clear across the playground among four hundred other kids.” (Lucy is alone writing in her journal)

I saw it difficult for children to put words to love. (Isn't it the same with adults?) 

I tried to steer them away from the media culture of love. I let authors give them a picture of what love could be, how it might feel to love someone and be loved. It allowed us a framework for discussion.

Vulnerability is frightful no matter what our age. To want and to need love can feel horrifying. Especially if we’ve felt rejected, a love one died or if we find we're unable to open ourselves up to love.

Love is essential. I think we’ve all had hard lessons during COVID of how it looks for each of us. None of us can survive without love connecting us to others in some way. I could qualify that by saying none of us can thrive. If our basic needs are met - water, food, shelter, space and air - we can survive. I believe we need love. Others need our love.

Cry love, act love, live love and live in love. Every day, every season. Recognize it will be difficult. If we can do it each day we are healing some part of our world every day and healing ourselves. 

Now one foot, now the other.