How Many Masks Do I Wear?

I spoke to a woman who was a wooden fence and a house yard away from me the other day. I noticed I’ve been utilizing three “Masks” during this pandemic. 

ONE ➤

  One mask is obvious. It’s the one I hang on my door knob to put on before I leave for ANY reason. I listened to her story about her husband going through the back part of the garage to begin his clean-up after coming home from his work as a doctor at University of Michigan.

 

I feel like my other small mask around my mouth and nose, was nothing compared to what he has to guard himself with. He puts on layers of protection all over his body and face area, every single night (he works the night shift and sleeps during the day). 

                                                                            

TWO.➤➤

            I told her about my “Other” kind of mask. The one I use to snorkel. “The cool thing about snorkeling in the Upper Peninsula and Lake Huron is there is NO competition for space by other people.” I told her. 

When I’m in Lake Huron with mask of my preference on, I feel safe and isolated in a completely different way. I don’t have to be on alert (except for the ferry boat wake that can easily push me into the rocks). I can swim, float, and my breathing becomes very relaxed.

  

I’m able to hear voices, birds singing, boats honking, waves crashing against the shore, but I don’t have to have any safety plan in place until I leave the water for the shore. 

I think I would find a tree or two I could climb (very high) if I was much younger. I could have the same feeling of safety from people as I do from snorkeling. Maybe climbing very tall trees is another way to distance and still be outside, still hear the voices and see the strollers, dogs walking people and birds.

                                          

THREE  ➤➤➤

        The third mask is a shield rather than protection. Today I walked through the U of M campus, which is unusually quiet and people-free (except for construction, which is behind high fences). 

I have pathways to choose from in almost every area of campus—- it is wonderful. It feels like I’m snorkeling and can relax and choose which rocks to go around and which shore to get closer or further from. The canopy of shade adds a special comfort.

This third mask can easily use is an “Excuse” mask. I have a physical mask over my face that can easily become a personal excuse to avoid. I don’t have to verbalize my reasoning. I can walk pass the local donut shop and feel no obligation to go in and say hi. I am able to decline physical meetings of any sort and hide behind Zoom or an isolation mask.

                                             

I made a choice years ago to not have Facebook. My decision has helped my struggle to hang on to my serenity. With the pandemic it’s easy to be anti-social. I avoid being judged as crazy, self-centered, thoughtless.... (And other negative names I’ve been called when I avoid interactions) But, during the pandemic (and the political climate in the U.S.), the mask says I’m smart and being safe.   

I’m working on shedding THREE ➤➤➤.   I don’t need the pandemic to mask socially. I am Maggie. I make choices for my physical and mental health. I make mistakes. No buts. I’m not a scientist but I know what factors keep me centered. I’m not crazy. I’m not self-centered. I’m not thoughtless. I’ve learned from studying myself that I need quiet and solitary time. If I don’t keep centered I will become hard-hearted, untrusting, unhealthy and unhappy. 

Unquestionably I am human! I need others. In contrast to my quiet and alone-time, I want and need interaction with others. When I don’t keep my heart open to love and energy from others, I become hard-hearted, untrusting, unhealthy and unhappy. I’ve been there and it’s a lonely, wrinkly-puckered-up place to be. I’ve seen the supposed safety eat me up from the inside out. Shedding mask THREE is protection from imbalance.

                                                                                                                                    

Yeah, I know......... Isn’t it a tightrope walk? 

Sending love and energy to my readers. Please feel free to pass it on.