Many Kinds of Happiness

When I overheard an elderly woman tell her grandson, “There are different kinds of happy”, I couldn’t wait to sit down with my laptop and write.

We live in a culture that worships happiness, so those words struck me as very wise.

Americans aren’t taught just to worship happiness. It’s a value most are pressured to convert to, like a religion. We learn how to create a facade of happiness if it isn’t constantly present. We learn the 3 Fs; Faith, Fog and Fantasy in order to keep up the dream.

I looked up words related to happiness on dictionary.com and thesaurus.com:

apt, blessed, blest, blissful, blithe, can't complain, captivated, cheerful, chipper, contented, convivial, delighted, overjoyed, ecstatic, elated, exultant, flying high, fortunate, gay, glad, gleeful, intoxicated, jolly, joyous, joyful, jubilant, laughing, light, lively, looking good, merry, mirthful, on cloud nine, overjoyed, peaceful, peppy, ratified, successful, thrilled, upbeat, 

Many of those words I wouldn’t consider my definition of happiness. I’ve always considered cheerful, upbeat, chipper, chirpy and peppy something you managed or portrayed for someone else’s sake (with effort) or for show. Not something you put out because you feel warm inside. But they can be a tool to get you to the warm inside place. 

Some of these words are in songs used to describe Santa Claus. Others to explain angels who come from heaven.

I was disappointed to see “Successful” as one of them. Man! That is a subjective term. Does that mean you would you be happy if you felt you were successful or if someone else deemed you successful? Would it happen many times in a day or year or something that occurs once in a lifetime after a life dedicated to the ideal? 

Slim pickings for happiness if you wait a lifetime!

“Hap” means “One’s lot or luck”or“comforter or quilt”.  I’m much more comfortable with those. 

I see happiness as something I don't necessarily search for. I think of it as either something unexpected like luck or long-lasting as contentment with who I am or what I'm doing. I do make decisions to make happiness more likely, but I don’t feel there is any guarantee. So it’s nice to have varying levels of happiness in order to be content.

If I was to devote my life to finding happiness I think would miss the peacefulness of happiness in the present. Days, hours and years pass if happiness becomes dedicated to the future. 

I’d rather see it as something I need to keep my eyes open for. Especially when there are many kinds.

So, when the woman said, “There are many kinds of happiness”, I totally agreed. I certainly wouldn’t want to leave it up to media, friends, family or society to measure what my happiness is, I’d rather do it myself and wallow in it when it appears.

The holidays are a good time to think about this (for us and for children). The Christmas culture is very powerful. There is music piped into buildings, outside of buildings, on T.V., in movies that can instantly trigger a memory (good or bad) of past holidays. They can also judge what a happy holiday needs to consist of for us. It’s easy to believe happiness is a judgement call from outside ourselves.

It’s not! It’s as unique to each person as any other preference we have in our life. And it grows from the inside out in my opinion.

I received a precious gift this holiday season. A total stranger did something for me I don’t think I could put a value on. It’s the kind of happiness that includes luck and felt like many blankets tucked in around me at night for comfort.

A few days before Christmas, my plan was to travel to Troy, Michigan, to visit family. When I got there and began to unpack, my guitar was not in my vehicle!

Instantly I remembered I left it on the sidewalk when I loaded up my car, (an hour and a half before). 

"My guitar is gone by now”, I told myself. There wasn’t a chance in a trillion it would still be there.

I had tears running down my face, I was stuck in shock for a few minutes. Frozen. My mind felt like it needed to repeat, “You’ll never see it again.”  As if I could possibly have held out any hopes of setting eyes on it again.

I snapped out of my paralysis and called a friend to help. She was at a family gathering, with no phone numbers of people who live nearby, so she couldn’t help. Like many of my friends I knew they’d be unavailable.

In desperation I called the Washtenaw Dairy. It was a shot in the dark, but I had to try to see if anyone could help me. It was already dark out and time ticking away.  
A young woman who works at the Dairy answered the phone.  We didn’t know each other but she instantly understood my fear and devastation of never seeing my guitar again.

This young woman took my phone number, left work and said she'd walk the block to see if my guitar was still where I placed it when I packed my vehicle. She told me she’d return my call whether it was there or not.

I waited and tried to reconcile myself to never seeing my “First Born”(as I’ve been know to call it), ever again.

By the time I received a call back I knew it had been two hours since I abandoned my guitar. I had no hope left and just wanted to sit on the cold sidewalk by my brother Tim’s home, and melt into the cement. 

When I answered the call she said, “I have your guitar.” Those words and the kindness I was given in my time of despair were happiness. 

I drove back to get my guitar and I think my vehicle flew rather than touch the ground until I parked outside the Washtenaw Dairy.

Happiness can’t be measured. It may be rare, unforgettable moments or it may spread out across your life in patches of fluffy, Michigan clouds in the sky.

In this instance happiness was a rare billowing kind. I sat my guitar on one of the long tables at the Dairy, opened up the case, gently picked up my first born and strummed the strings. 

I glance at my guitar sitting by me, as I write. The memory of happiness warms me. 

My mom asked me the other day when I was up in the U.P. visiting for a couple of days, “I wonder if we really would like it if we got what we wanted when we hope for a certain kind of weather?” I’ve heard her say before how important it is got her to experience each season which Michigan delivers.

A low, low can help us to look up from the bottom of the empty well and see possibilities. If our needs are always fulfilled there wouldn’t be a contrast.

I value loved ones. When I experience happiness with my mom, it’s entirely different from what I feel from a call from my son on Christmas Day. Or quiet conversations with my daughter while we travel hundreds of miles up north and back. Spending time with Tim’s family in Troy brought me another quality of happiness. I belonged and felt loved.

I hate to say happiness enveloped me while watching (from a distance) a building burning down in St. Ignace. Please understand the tragedy didn’t cause my happiness. It was the fortune I felt in contrast to someone else’s misfortune. 

I stood in the wicked, cold and shared time with my sister, Mary. We laughed about the entire town out to watch the firefighters put out the fire and how the billowing smoke reminded us of the Chief Wawatam when we were kids.

I guess happiness can be stored. We can either share our memories with others or remember them alone, smiling with happiness. Like in the song “I’m Dreaming of a White Christmas.”

I’m the first to say adventure brings me happiness. But, stillness does too. The range in-between attracts my attention. 

If I only look at the color orange in the rainbow I will miss the array of colors surrounding orange. I will miss the sunshine, the rain and the possibility of a pot of gold at the end.

May you be wide awake in the new year and not forget the year passed.

May clouds form so you value the sun.

May friends and family share your memories and make more.

May you value yourself and others.

May you disregard all judgement of your happiness from others.
May you not judge someone else's happiness.

May you witness over and over your good fortune.

Happy New Year! 

This video is"Auld Lang Syne" which is a 1788 Scot's poem by Robert Burns, typically sung on New Year's Eve around the world. The phrase “auld lang syne” literally translates to “old long since,” or “days gone by.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wPnhaGWBnys
This version is beautifully done