Different Eyes: Trans Day of Rememberance

It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, 

if you live near one.  J.R.R. Tolkien.

I walked across University of Michigan campus last evening to hear a key-note speaker invited to speak for Transgender Awareness Week.

The building I walked into was engineered for comfort, privacy spaces, spaces for community and the entrance didn’t even feel like an entrance. The Social Studies building was warm to the eye. The stairs and hallways were mostly hidden from view instead of being the trunk to a tree.

I set my backpack down on a narrow table with thick plexiglass covering the top and started to look for the small note I wrote myself with the room number of this lecture.

Two young, white women came up to me smiling, asking me if I knew where the Spectrum Center was.  I told them,  “I’m headed there too and I have the room written down, I’m looking for it right now.”

They giggled and one of them said,”We’ll wander around. We’ll find it.”  I was left with my hand in my backpack with no room number, wondering….

As simple as the scenario was, I felt its impact. I’m older. I depend on pencil or pen to paper. I prefer writing things down, it helps me remember and feels more secure to me. But, how many times when I’m traveling, do I do just what they suggested-wander until I find what I’m looking for.

They were witnessing antique behavior. Me looking for a piece of paper. Not me opening up notes on my i-phone or looking on my phone for the photo of the events posted. 

I found a seat in a large conference room for the presentation. I sat down and put my backpack on the floor (with my phone tucked inside, muted) listened as I looked up at the screen with Kavi Ade’s picture in the corner, sitting on a bench with his black bag by his feet with the words: "Artist. Creator. Threat."

The room was packed (standing room only). The college students were grabbing pizza on flimsy paper plates. They balanced food, their backpacks and phones like graceful butterflies. In and out of the rows of chairs they weaved to sit by friends. They turned and talked to people they knew in front of them and behind them continuing to balance their food. 

I glanced around when the program was about to begin and everyone (I mean everyone I saw) had their phone or a laptop in front of them engaged in something. I didn’t judge them for it, I was just amazed they didn’t know it was 6:30 and the program was about to begin.

They knew. As soon as Kavi Ade was introduced, there was not a phone or laptop to be seen. The respect was room-filled. I'm still smiling thinking about it.

Kavi is Transgender. He said it’s not the first thing he identifies with. He said his blackness is what he is presented as, day in and day out. He fears for his safety because of his color and for having the courage to be who he is. His poetry…heartbreaking, real, from the gut and honest.

Today is Trans Day of Remembrance. Here’s a link to Jeffery Martin’s article in Newsweek. 

 https://www.newsweek.com/today-trans-day-remembrance-311-trans-people-were-murdered-this-year-1472850

Today is a day to open our eyes and admit we have a lot of work to do in making our country inclusive of everyone. Each day we can take small steps and big steps to get there.

We all have dragons to slay so everyone is included. I love my son, Holden, who is Trans. He is courageous in being who he truly is—himself. My life is richer knowing he is happy.

There is one way to look at things until someone shows us how to look at them

with different eyes.  Pablo Picasso