Genuine Spirit of Charley in Austin

It boggles my mind how easy it is to forget the hugeness of the U.S.A. when I travel. It took three hours to fly to Austin, Texas last week.  The differences in terrain, climate and culture were pretty huge, too, going from Southeastern Michigan to Texas.  I left humid, cool temperatures of spring, in Michigan, to dry, warm summer temperatures.

Met Holden at Juan in a Million Restaurant

I went to Austin to see my son, Holden, perform in an opera at the University of Texas, Austin. 

Good Country is a new chamber opera presented for the first time at The Cohen New Works Festival. My son sang and acted the lead part of “Charley”, the stage coach driver, based on true historical facts of Charley Parkhurst, a trans-person, who lived in the 1800s.

Empty Stage Before Opera Begins

I knew Holden had collaborated with writers of this opera beforehand to give the composers input on real-life experience of being trans. They also learned about his difficulties relearning to use his voice after he started taking testosterone. (From a trained mezzo to a tenor). This collaboration brought forth a beautiful new opera to the stage.

Composers, Musicians, Cast and Crew

I continually follow Holden’s voice development on sites of his. Of course, I’m his mom,  I live in the U.S. and he lives in Germany.  I see him only once or twice a year in person, so following him on these sites gives me a chance to stay up with how he’s doing. (I’m very grateful for Skype, too!)

http://holdenmadagame.com/

www.instagram.com/holden.mad

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCn6jikmG5agbP6EfeCnY_Sg

https://www.patreon.com/holdenmad

What I wasn’t prepared for when I saw him perform in Austin, was a richness and depth I had never before heard in his voice. The last time I saw/heard him sing was in Germany in October.  Hearing his voice in Good Country floored me. I wasn’t prepared for this serious role he captured on stage.   

When I heard the music and saw the actors depicting the characters in Good Country, I felt like I was witnessing two lives. Not only the life of “Charley”, but the life of my son, Holden. 

The actors and musicians performed on stage.  But it didn’t feel like a performance to me when I sat in the audience.  I attended a dress rehearsal, and two operas during the week, it was like I was given the opportunity to witness a window of time.

Each performance I was transported back in time to see this story unfold.  I felt the emotions of fear, sadness, anger and love in Charley and at the same time this was Holden singing and acting with fear, sadness, love and anger.  It was like Charley was Holden.

There were three very emotional parts in the opera for me.  It didn’t matter which day I saw the opera, I experienced them like new each time.  I was engrossed in the story and the music.

The first part was a heart-wrenching scene where Holden fights with a man (the barmaid’s husband) who not only accuses Charley of being female, but Charley steps in to defend the barmaid against her husband’s abuse.  

The fight was choreographed to look real. But, what really made it feel real was the anguish and fear on Holden’s face.  He was fighting for his life.  At one point, after he is punched several times in the gut, he’s thrown to the ground on his face. Holden was acting, but I felt him come out in Charley. Holden expressed the emotions all trans people experience. It was the fear and anguish for not being accepted for who they really are. 

Another scene was when the barmaid has just been physically abused by her husband and she shoots her husband dead.  She realizes she is miscarrying her child because of his abuse. Holden is comforting her and telling her she is strong enough to get through the miscarriage and she isn’t alone. He promises to stay with her during her pain and to cover for her murder.  It’s a tender, loving scene. Holden opens up to her and she is reassured she will be okay. Holden, like Charley, is the a person who would offer love and support to a stranger. It was totally believable.

But, the last scene was the one that broke my heart. The barmaid and Charley sang about the future.

Their ghosts are singing about whether in 100 years it will be a good country for them. Charley as a trans man and the barmaid as a female living alone. They continue with their song and guess maybe in will take 200 years for it to be a good country. It ends with them wondering if 200 years will be enough time for them to be accepted in their country. It was chilling with the last note of the opera beautifully sung by the voices of the past.

Chang Lui - Cast as the Barmaid

I’ve seen Holden struggle and work hard to get where he is in his profession.  But, I was able to see a deeper level of commitment and struggle while I watched him perform in Good Country.  They cast the right person for this role of Charley.  I wish you could have been there.  You wouldn’t have left the opera without feeling this true spirit of Charley.  And without the genuine spirit of Holden. 

I was glad my close friend, Larry, was able to accompany me on this adventure to Austin. We both came away richer. He comforted me during these performances. We shared the substance and power in this opera. It helped to have someone understand me as Holden’s mom and as Charley’s mom. And to understand Holden through the role of Charley.  

Larry, at the Blanton Art Museum