I Cut My Losses

Solutions to problems don’t necessarily come with a formula. If they did maybe we could better discover solutions for them.

I think I’ve learned not to take the problems I run into as serious as I did when I was much younger.  One thing I can apply to a few problems that arise is-even if it feels personal it usually isn’t.

I’m just one of many on earth. Things are so far from being about me I can count on it not being personal.  

I know from experience problems seem more monumental if I’m exhausted, hungry or extremely distracted.  Or if I feel inadequate in the environment I’m in, at the time.  

It also seems to hold true the other way around when problems are attached to me by someone else. The person who tries to make the problem about me is likely to be tired, famished or has too much on their plate at the time. Or they could feel insecure about something and they’re coming to their own defense.

From years of hard work on this skill I have come to realize if I can take the time to step back and think before responding with a decision or reaction, the problem is easier to manage. In fact just taking a step back can help declassify it as a problem.  It may just be an irritant, bother or something that causes me to lose more time than I’d like dancing around the fly in the room.  If I rush and don’t give myself time enough to do something I think is important, I’m setting myself up for trouble.

Prevention is helpful sometimes.  Not always possible, but can be well worth thinking about a scenario ahead of time to keep a problem from escalating or even getting a life of its own to begin with.

If I know there’s something about me that is easily triggered by certain people or events I can plan ahead. I can either camouflage my button so no one can find it to push. Or I can stay away from triggers I know cause a problem for me.  There’s nothing wrong with conserving energy and strength by staying clear of problems. It makes me so much more able to deal with problems that are unavoidable, if I do conserve my problem-solving energy.

I’m retired so I’m more able to make decisions with my time and physical whereabouts than I ever would have been able to when I taught school and was raising my children.  To be fair to myself, though, I’m not as able to bounce back from problems now that I’m older.

Do I believe some problems don’t have solutions?  No, I don’t.  The solution may have to be broken up into smaller parts. Maybe parts I’m not able to see in the problem at the moment. 

Problems may need to be given time in order for them to have clarity.  The anxiety seems to mask them and I don’t even know how to acknowledge what they are in present time.  

Some problems are best left for others to solve. They may not even need to be on our plate to solve. It can be a solution. “This is not my problem.” 

I recently planned a trip to Poland for a few days (from Germany).  I thought I had prevented the common things that can create problems traveling to another country. I had the maps I needed and enough data on my phone to use Google to get information.  I had Polish money in case I couldn’t use a credit card.  I packed light to avoid being overly tired.  I had copies of things I might need in my photos (on my phone).  I had the Bread and Breakfast information written down with several numbers to call in case I needed help getting the bus there.

Wroclaw/Breslau, Poland

After all the work I did ahead I didn’t realize my phone would be locked the moment I entered Poland.  I was told when I got my Sims card in my iPhone that the data could be used throughout Europe.  I specifically asked about Poland.  What they didn’t warn me about (and I now know and am ultimately responsible for knowing) is the phone would be locked and I’d have to use the passcode they gave me to unlock it before I could use the phone.

I Found the Passcode Too Late

I thought I took a picture of my passcode, but I couldn’t locate it in my photos.  I knew the paperwork for the Sims card was in my large suitcase in Germany.  

I did get wifi at a cafe and used Skype on my laptop to make a couple of calls and i-messages.  But, it wasn’t enough to help me get to where I needed to stay for lodging.  The hosts didn’t reply and I wasn’t comfortable waiting in a large train station without help. 

Sometimes Problems Feel Like They Are in A Tunnel

After all the smaller solutions I made, I knew the problem couldn’t be solved in a forward way.  I needed to cut my losses and turn around and go back to Germany.  I got another train ticket and left Poland.  I was disappointed, frustrated and sad, but I made the decision. 

By making the decision to go back, I think I also prevented compounding more problems.  I was out of my element and I had to acknowledge it to myself.  It would have to be a future trip.

I boarded the train (just in time) and the train didn't move for two and a half hours in Wroclaw, Poland.  I had no idea why.  No idea when it would move (or if it would). All I could do is wait with the other passengers who could speak the language and were obviously checking their watches in anticipation of the train leaving.

Several problems, several solutions. One ultimate solution which was the most difficult one to make.  Play it safe, be patient and go back.

My son and his girlfriend were surprised to see me back in Görlitz at 10:30 at night ringing their apartment door system, but the hugs and reception I got did me good.  I knew I had made the right choice.