My Warning Label

Locks put on Bridge In Prague to Show Love

Warning labels are on products we use every day. When we don’t look at them they lose their purpose. We trust the products on their own merit without taking a closer look. It puts us at risk.

I find I do that with people. We don’t come with warning labels.  Maybe they’re there, we’ve just learned not to read them or worse yet-ignore them.  

I’m an expert at ignoring.  I want people to be honest, humanistic, kind, optimistic, understanding and loving. Because I want this with my whole heart I trust information I see on the surface of people when I interact with them.  

When I start to see red flags or start to suffer adverse reactions and pain from people, I push on without reading the warning label they obviously have glued to their forehead.  I’m aware I do this.  The only way I can take care of myself is to try and catch the errors I’ve made in overlooking the warnings. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tVdcVsL9pa0

I’m responsible for my decisions. Decisions that affect my emotional health which then have an effect on my physical health.  I have a quote on my wall, “I am responsible for the lies I believe.”  Ohhhh, the responsibilities of being an adult.  

I’ve had a difficult emotional time the last few weeks.  After I returned from my extensive travels I felt this disconnect with someone I’d been seeing. It took time and a lot of reflection (and help from my therapist) but I realized I had to make some changes.

I didn’t want to keep feeling this toxic residue that hung on in my system after spending time with him. I didn’t want to ignore it anymore. I kept swimming through a spectrum of anger, confusion, guilt, hurt, sadness, anxiety-panic, worry, helplessness, loneliness, insecurity and resentment.   

I didn’t read his warning label:

Don’t trust me.

I will not have your best interest at heart.

I’m not an authentic person.

I’m manipulative and will get what I want.

I won’t respect your boundaries.

I did a lot of reading, writing and talking. I finally formed a framework of what I wanted. It really wasn't simple. Did I want to keep seeing him regardless of my failing emotional health, or did I want to make a change?

While I traveled in Europe I developed more confidence.  A feeling of calmness.  So, when I came back to the U.S. and started to feel these unhealthy emotions again, I knew I had to alter something. My anger at myself and at him became a springboard for my change.  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SJoxnohsRms

Life is hard enough without my self-imposed consumption of harmful-human toxins.  Relief feels good.  Clarity does too.  I’m far from helpless and being alone doesn’t automatically equate— “Loneliness”. 

My warning label:

I need space and freedom.

I’m trustworthy.

I’m an authentic person.

I will tell you what I want.

I will listen and respect your boundaries.