Labels Point Back at Me!

“When it comes to understanding others, 

we rarely tax our imaginations.”  Lawrence Hill

“What religion do you practice?” a woman asked another.

“I practice kindness,” was the reply.

I am afraid after thousands of years in the development of religions, they’ve become complex social systems, not just belief systems.  Instead of going to visit the elders to learn right from wrong, modern society has schools, nurseries and communities constructed on various religions.  

I wish it could be easier and more simplistic to talk about belief.  Not just one pre-designed for us, but one we have consciously designed to fit how we want to live our life and how we think we should treat others.

Labels are more harmful than helpful.  I sometimes think they’re supposed to make things work more smoothly, but when I watch what they do in social groups I see them closing minds rather than opening them.  (Mine included)

Being raised Catholic and going to a Catholic school I thought of the “Public” school kids as different.  And not different in a positive way.  I was fearful when I had to leave the parochial school to attend high school at eighth grade.  Labels I had learned to create and my sheer ignorance caused me fear.  

I knew all the kids I went to parochial school with.  Anyone I didn’t know went into “Other”.  I put up a barrier between me and the “Other” . Labels not only kept me from knowing them, it kept me from being myself.  It took me a long time to get to know new people. It prevented me from being open to new ideas. 

In college I found a similar fear because I was a Yooper.  I labeled anyone who wasn’t from the Upper Peninsula “Other”.  I kept myself from being authentically who I was.  It was difficult for me to form friendships and I was constantly afraid people we being disingenuous.  I didn’t trust them.  Feeling separate caused me to not only label “Other” but I labeled myself in the process.  When I judged them for being different than me I automatically became defensive of who I was and felt judged by “Other”.

Me in Front of a Large Mosaic
at the Arab American National Museum

I visited the Arab American National Museum in Dearborn today.  There’s a large exhibit on the immigration of Arabs to America and how they contributed to America since they’ve arrived in the 1850s.  The first Arabs to come were Christian, in small numbers.  The pie-graph shows a bit clearer the breakdown of religions of the Arab population.

The first time I saw this map, at the museum, showing the “Arab Countries”  I felt so stupid.  I had no idea so many countries were Arab.  Again, my ignorance and my label of “others”, stunted my growth. Each time I return to the museum I learn something more.  I’m more open to the similarities between Arab Americans and me.  I’m less ignorant so I don’t jump to think of differences between my background and culture.  Having a friend who is Arab helps me become more open-minded, too.  Ameera pulls away all the “Other” barriers and we have a blast together.  

With my “Stain-glass” perspective I admit, I don’t see things clearly.  I try to humble myself.  I’d like to remember how little I know and also to be okay with not knowing. As long as I keep striving to learn.

I sometimes shut others out with my labels. I conjure up these labels with my absolute, definite, coffee-is-done finality.  I close myself off.  There’s no conversation because I’m sure as hell about my thinking.  

Or is it really assuredness?  Maybe it’s insecurity.  Maybe it’s my ignorance making me fearful like in days of old.  As soon as I step to one side of the line I’ve labeled whoever is on the other side as “Other”.  Then there’s very little dialog, interaction or learning going on from me.  Also very little self-assessment.  I direct any criticism to the person on the other side of the line.  

Saves me from having to self-reflect. (such a pain-in-the-ass self-reflection is!) But it denies me any opportunity to grow, to learn new things, to be myself and to get to know new people.

“I am doing things that are true to me.  The only thing I have a problem with is being labeled.”  Johnny Depp