Small Spoonfuls

The last two months I’ve been learning how to incorporate raw food as a new piece to improve my lifestyle.  It’s a big change, but since I’ve made so many over the last decade, it’s a relatively easy step toward healthy food choices. 

I’ve already seen big trade-offs.  I feel better, I have more energy and I am less hungry during the day.   My friend, Gesche, in Denmark, made the first transition easy because she was already preparing and eating “raw” when I spent a month with her in April. I learned first-hand how to shop for ingredients, how to un-cook, how to organize the kitchen and how to dive in and not look back. 

Food isn’t my favorite topic to write about.  I’ve fought with my low self-image and weight as long as I can remember. I am extremely defensive about anyone (but myself) telling me what I can and can’t put in my mouth. (whether it has any food value or not!)  I’m more likely to eat something if someone said not to, rather than the other way around.  Two of my favorite things are ice-cream and popcorn (with salt and butter). I can learn to navigate around them in order to eat “raw”.

I’ve noticed another benefit Gesche didn’t mention in eating “Raw”.  My sense of taste and smell are stronger.  I find I can relish in the flavor of a radish, a thinly sliced brussel sprout or carrot, when before they were just mixed into the whole of things.  And since those two senses are more acute, I take my time in eating for pleasure not just for sustenance. I can take smaller bites, with less on the spoon or fork and enjoy the process.

I reorganized my kitchen last week and my daughter, Elizabeth, sent me her dehydrating oven for me to use.  I’ll have more options for preparing food and making it ahead. I used to take pride in baking home-made bread.  That’s a thing of the past.  Now I’ll learn how to make sprouted bread in the dehydrator.  Am I scared?  Hell, yes!  Any new lifestyle change brings anxiety and risk.  Yet I don’t believe a person is EVER too old to learn new tricks.

When I checked out a couple of books on raw cooking, from the local library, I realized I want to own one and have it close by when I run out of innovative ideas for meals.  (I found one used for less than seven dollars).  

I didn’t really intend to only write about food in “Small Spoonfuls”.  I wanted to quote Lisa Montgomery from her Introduction in The Complete Book of Raw Food, Volume 2, (2014) 

     “Be discerning in what you put in your mouth, be discerning in what you let into your life.”  

She writes about being better equipped with the tools we’ll need to have a better relationship with others and with ourselves, not just the food we make choices about. 

I’ve been dating someone.  It’s a change for me.  Another risk.  When I read Montgomery’s reference to being discerning about what you let into your life, immediately my mind changed it to “Who you let into your life.”

My emotional health is as important as my physical in order to stay well.  All the care to shop, prepare and eat raw food needs a healthy balance.  The same with what I bring into my life. (or who).  And how I nurture myself with love.

Eating a chucked-full bowl of butter pecan ice-cream or an over-the-top bowl of salted, buttered popcorn gives me a temporary feeling of euphoria. But what about the lasting affect over time? Truly it doesn’t even take an hour before I feel a let down from eating either of my craves.

I want to consider how I’m going to reorganize my “Relationship kitchen” to incorporate what I want in my life.  Not just the sugar high, but a calm satisfaction when I interact with someone.  Someone I can savor with all my senses and not feel I’m compromising my integrity and self-worth.  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xR8CyK1mZOg

To consider anyone who feels they have to control and dominate me isn’t an option. Nor anyone who has little empathy for another human being. I want my independence, I’ve work extremely hard to climb out of depression and gain the skills to be self-reliant.  I won’t compromise who I am in order to have a relationship. 

It sounds like an outrageous endeavor, doesn’t it?  But so does changing my food to raw.  

I’m sixty years old and yeah I know there are times when it will be necessary to understand the imbalance in a relationship with someone. I can be flexible, I’m not a rookie to a long-term relationship. Gray areas come in every aspect of life.  But if a connection with someone doesn’t work out I’m fortunate I know how to live alone.  I know the difference between loneliness and my choice to be alone. In the same way I think know how to eat well in order to feel well.

Being aware of a person’s affect on me, as I get to know them is important to living healthy. There will be uncertainty. I’m okay with learning about a person. Which also means I need to trust my perception of a person, once I do get to know them.  From there I’ll make decisions.  I’ll ask myself, “Is it healthy to include this person in my life?”  “Do they enhance or diminish the quality of my life?”  Not easy detective work to search for answers to these questions. 

  

It takes a lot of effort. Who would think I’d find such a compelling mindset from a cookbook.  Living healthy is as important as eating healthy.  I want nourishment for my soul and my emotional well being as much as I want it for my body.