Ugliness of the World

I search through my stain-glass. It hangs free in front of my large window.

It blocks how I see the world.

Oranges, yellow, blues dark and light. Green, rose, white, red and black.

There are some clear fractions in my stain-glass, 

Unacknowledged by my vision.

I don’t care if they allow me to see clearly through, to the outside.

They hold no interest for me. I want no reality.

I want vibrant colors,

shades of yellow mixing with bright green, creamy orange mixing with reds. 

I want hope.  I prefer this blurred reality.

A bright red cardinal touches down and balances on my crabapple tree branch.

I see him through the orange in my glass.

His color is distorted.  Lost is his natural beauty against the leafless tree.  

The snow slowly falls in the windless air.

I see crimson and blue flakes.  They bathe themselves effortlessly in the vibrant stain-glass colors. 

Light Through a Fence

Shadow of Birch Tree

Steps in Mackinac Straits State Park

I fight myself.  Lashing out at my need to obscure reality.

“Why limit your view?” I curse my numbing frame of mind.

“How can you sacrifice the bright red of the cardinal? The white of the falling snow?”

Tears of weakness answer.

“I only deprive myself of the ugliness beyond my window.  

The destruction, hatred, lies.

The cruelty and ignorance.”

Silence hoods itself around my mind. Painfully rubbing against my senses. Hours and days slowly pass.

Artwork on Wall in Berlin, Germany

I finally feel relief when Wisdom speaks, (She blatantly rejects and dismisses my tears and pain).

“Your weakness deceives you. You shelter your own ignorance.  No hope comes from blurred vision.”  She continues and leaves no space for me to interject, “You see your denial as stunning in contrast to reality.”

“The filthy, sorrowful world you hide from is the same world that possesses the red of the cardinal and the white of the snow.

To shield yourself from the ugliness shields the beauty and joy from reaching you.”

I laugh at the simplicity of her wisdom. 

I grab my coat and gloves with one look back at my gorgeous stain-glass window.

“Thank you for protecting me, I think I’ll practice seeing clearly, for now.”

The door shuts.  I turn the key in the lock. The world awaits.