Trying a Bullet Journal

This has been an important week for me.  

It was Martin Luther King, Jr. Day on Monday.  The speeches and performances invigorated me.   I walked away with hope.  Hill Auditorium, in Ann Arbor, was packed with others who needed hope and inspiration, too.  I could feel the energy as soon as I walked in and took a seat in the balcony. 

When I talk to people, (pretty much daily), I hear prejudges.  I listen to misinformation, misguided stubbornness, elitism, projected family/cultural upbringing, showing bias toward humans.  I was just called an “Extreme Liberal” this morning because I’m a retired teacher.  That’s the trouble with labels.  What do they mean?  I could have either been flattered or insulted.  A smile was all I felt was needed for a response. (Well, I admit I did verbalize, “Nobody is “Only” one thing, nothing is across the board-one way.”)   

My daughter introduced me to the concept of a “Bullet Journal”.  The basis of the journal is to put perimeters around what I want to see for myself and my life. 

As I create the journal I feel positive about the power it gives me to hone down my goals and desires.  To have a format for this has helped me see I can manage the activities that coincide with my goals.

There’s so much dialog and work needed to get past the negative part of our American culture.  There is still so much hate and hostility toward differences.   And I have a lot to learn.  As much about myself as others.  I would never say I’m prejudice-free.  I don’t think anyone can possibly be without prejudice.  But, I do believe each person can confront those prejudices and see where they came from and how they’re affecting others.

I don’t have T.V. and I cringe when I read the headlines in the news I get online or from a newspaper. 

  

I know myself enough to know my skin is thin.  I absorb the negative details and they circulate through my blood and permeate my system.  Then my behavior changes. 

• I watch more old, black and white movies  
• I  feel a general uneasiness and malaise
• I feel an undefined sadness
• I’m less creative
• my exercise routines become more of a pounding rather than healthy movement
• I have surges of obsessive cleaning (whatever is in my way!)
• I isolate myself from people

One of my goals is to be more informed.  So I’m trying to figure out what works for me and how I can limit the stress it causes.  It’s important for me to remember if I shrink-wrap myself I limit my growth as a person.

Life doesn’t allow taking only the good.  It’s not realistic to think life will be fair.  But, if I know what immobilizes me from living my life and contributing to society, I have some controls.  I can adjust and regulate my journal as needed.

I see an excellent therapist who helps me clarify my emotions and think through what course of action I can take so I CAN move on with my daily life, more comfortably.  I’ve learned there are subtle and not-so-subtle triggers that harm me-unless I do the thinking.  I’ve pulled through many down-spirals with guidance.  He affirms for me my ability to get through things and reach the other end of the bridge— contentment.  I still have to do the thinking, do the work.

My journal is helping me visually see what I want.  It helps me balance my physical, emotional and intellectual needs and wants.  I can list choices for myself and match them up with ways to achieve those choices.  Always leaving room for me to change my mind.  That can be tricky to remember, “I can change things up, I can change my mind.”  When my goal is written on paper I’ll have to remember I was the one who put it on the paper.  It’s a tool.  A way for me to control things, not for the journal to control me.

The beauty of the journal is I can put a line through anything I don’t want to do or don’t feel is important when I get to that day or month.  I can indicate the difference between what is important and what is urgent. Not an easy thing to do when feeling overwhelmed.  Everything seems urgent in my mind when I feel overwhelmed!

Organizing my days and months is a way to make myself accountable for what is easily forgotten or a task I’ve put on the back burner.  We all know, as adults, we work better with reward rather than punishment.  Calling myself lazy, useless and stupid doesn’t help me to be more productive or contribute more to society or to my growth as a person.  The reward for me is being satisfied with my effort, doing something different and giving it a chance.

I care about people.  I care about humanity.  I want my days to matter and match what I feel has substance for me.  

Lately, I thought I wanted to learn swing dancing.  And I’ve been working on Turkish for a few months.  Both I’ve decided can be put aside, for now.  Swimming and walking are part of my lifestyle, so the choices I make for those are just scheduling choices.  But, I’ve been considering regular yoga classes, getting involved in martial arts again and getting back to studying German.  

Here are some of my “Instead of…” thoughts:

• Instead of    “Life is Short”                   I choose     “It’s Possible to be Content Every Day”
• Instead of    “I am only one person”    I choose     “My Contributions to Society Make a Difference”
• Instead of    “I Should”                        I choose      “I Want to”
• Instead of    “More is Better”               I choose      “My Aspirations Are Good Enough”
• Instead of    “Perfect”                          I choose      “Success Never Includes Perfection” 
• Instead of    “Be Careful”                    I choose       “I trust my judgement”

Goals and aspirations are a good thing.   But I won’t lose track of how each and every person I connect with, every day, is significant.  Whether it be in person, in passing, via texting, via email, by phone or through the mail.  I believe each interaction we have with another human being affects everyone.   None of what we do or choose not to do can ever be done in a room without windows.  It all makes a difference.