Home is NOT a Finite Place

It's 2017!

Again, the holidays swept by and ended with this frigid blowing of wind and snow.  Brrrrrr.  

The winds won’t sweep away my memories though.  Warm voices, music, carols, coffee cafes, dancing, laughing, preparing food, reading, planning, watching movies, toasting (Prost), hugging, playing.  When I weave them together they make a unique blanket of their own.  A blanket to pull over myself for comfort.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zJ7yGaVc3VE  Swing Dancing in Ann Arbor

Christmas season for me doesn’t start, though, until I listen to old recordings of my daughter, Elizabeth, singing carols.  Her two-year-old voice singing, “Fahwahwahwahwah, wahwah wah!” and “Jowee oh Saint Nicohwiss”, are magical. 

I’m getting better at ignoring the pandemonium media creates. My soul can only take so much. I check some media, online and when I feel overwhelmed I’ve discovered sitting down with a newspaper is more relaxing and I can control the pace of the news. (or scan past what I’d rather not read)

I’ve almost mastered control over holiday marketing, too.  To me it’s NOT conducive to “Spirit”.  It’s more like draining and killing the “Spirit”.  Even with my steel-determination not to get distracted in the stores, I still can get caught up in the sparkly, colorful packaging.  The music of the season is piped in, evoking memories, enticing me to buy!  I think the power in marketing is it uses our human nature to grasp at inanimate objects to bring back a memory, or to satisfy a desire in us to have the intimacy of family and friends during the holiday.  

Yes, I sent out cards and gifts….I bought peppermint sticks…. hot chocolate ….I decorated a small Christmas tree…

Many of the gifts I gave were ones I made by hand. 

My “Home-made Gift” Philosophy:  “The value of the gift is fixed by the receiver. They don’t have to keep it or return it to a store.  It is a gift of love and nothing more. If it makes the person smile my love has been received.”

I really hated Elizabeth being in Turkey, so far away, during the holiday.  A part of me was there with her.  (I guess my heart is always with her wherever she is geographically) It comforted me knowing her boyfriend, Josef, was with her. (and her little dog, Ellie)

Josef and Ellie in Istanbul, Turkey
(January storm)

“I’ll Be Home for Christmas”, really isn’t a song about being home physically.  It’s about memories and dreaming of loved ones.  Memories are all the more priceless when we’re apart because we can close our eyes and have them right by our side.

Holden, Emma and Me
(At Literati Coffee Cafe)

My son, Holden and his girlfriend, Emma, flew home from Germany for Christmas.  I can’t imagine any wrapped gift more valuable to me than spending time with them over the holiday.  If anyone would have told me I would be swing-dancing with my son, while he was here, I would have laughed at them.  But that’s the magic of opening up the time and grabbing a memory.  It’s there for the taking and if I don’t snatch it up, it disappears, along with time.  

I was able to slow down the clock and make the time seem like it expanded.  Holden and Emma were on the same track. They slowed down the pendulum and basked in their vacation, with me, here in Ann Arbor.  

Goodbyes were horrible when I dropped them off at DTW.  But, it didn’t take me long to stop crying as I left the airport, a genuine smile stayed on my face for the rest of the day.  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VFGfCn5rKIM    (I'll Be Home For Christmas)

I believe home for Christmas means loved ones together.  It doesn’t matter where we are. Our hearts determine where home is not the old image of “Home Sweet Home” where there is a finite place to be.  In my reality I had both my children home with me for Christmas.