A Time to Process

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W4ga_M5Zdn4  (The Byrd's Song-Turn! Turn! Turn!)

A Little German Graffiti I Found

 Seeing the Sun and Wearing Sandals Was Glorious

I’m home and I feel I’ve been gone a year or so.  Only being gone a month to Germany and Turkey (and a day trip to Denmark) I think the day to day adventures possessed my senses.  I drifted away from the day to day routine and predictability of life.

I know part of this feeling is from reconstructing my brain, my bladder and my stomach to the time change, now I'm home.  Like a turtle coming out of the mud in the spring, poking its head out and wondering if it really should navigate the terrain or easily slide its head back into the safe, green shell.

I wasn’t able to post to my blog while I was out of the U.S.  My Google account would only let me sign in if I used the code sent to my phone.  Well…my phone wasn’t with me.  I had the German SIMS card and I wasn’t able to get any codes sent to my U.S. phone number.  

It was my fault.  I forgot I had set up a two-step verification in settings.  I tried and tried to get it changed but eventually I gave it up and decided it wouldn’t hurt a thing waiting until I got back to write.

It turns out I'm glad I wasn’t able to post my writing.  I spent a lot more time with people. I wandered more and took considerably more time plotting my adventures, instead of writing what I had already done.  

I felt some guilt not having something posted for my readers. (Especially Mom) But, I think the guilt was telling me I had to write.  I knew I didn’t have to, at least not on my blog.  I was happy with journaling and keeping track of the things I was doing in my Moleskin notebooks.  Gluing, taping and sketching until I could copy some of the pictures I wanted to add later.

Now I’m home I see it’s good to have some time to process my experiences.  Traveling a month in foreign countries creates an enormous amount of stitches in a memory quilt.  Each color of fabric is unique.  Each element needs time to mesh and fit together.  

Sometimes when I wake up I feel or remember something and I let it sit in my mind tossing it around.  Like finding a special fossil on the lake shore knowing it is improbable to ever have found it when I did.  Looking at it again and again, turning it over in the sunlight.  Holding it tightly in my hand afraid of it dropping.

I want to luxuriate in my memories.  My traveling was wonderful.  Even the things that went awry I was able to concentrate and unravel, like a faulty knot I tied. I always gave myself enough time to try again.  “Where does the loop go?  Which line goes under which overlap?  Relax, you can figure it out,”  I would tell myself. (Not the exact words, of course)

Seeing my children, Elizabeth and Holden, was the highlight.  Time with them created memories precious enough to need time to sort through.  The hugs, the laughing, the tears, the food, the music, the sharing, the words, the friends, the love…a mom’s pride in her son and daughter…nope!  No paint, fabric or sound could help present it to my readers right now.

As I look at my stain glass I’m happy to be back home.  When I saw the sign, "U.S. Citizens Enter Here",  I felt pleasure being American.  I’m not ready to leave this country in exchange for another.

My country has a lot of growing up to do.  I can’t count how many people asked me about Trump.  Or how many newspapers in another language I saw his face.

“Why would Americans let him be in the running?”,

“Do they think he is funny?”  

"What will happen if he really gets elected." 

Embarrassed and ashamed I answered many foreigners who asked, “I don’t know, I don’t understand myself.”  

I can't wait to post some pictures and share with you my adventures.  But, until then the last thing I want to say is:

"Happy Birthday, Baby Brother!!"

My brother Tim's birthday is today.  Hope you have some scrumptious cake and 

ice cream.