Come Inside It's Getting Dark

I’ve been writing for NaNoWriMo and am excited about the challenge.  You may have seen my counter at the bottom of my blog, ticking off the days until I've written 50,000 words by the end of November.   If you want to know what it is, here's the link.

nanowrimo.org

I wrote last November with the encouragement of my son, Holden.  It was difficult for me and at the same time very rewarding.  Some of the things I enjoy the most I put off and I don’t get to experience them.  I’m getting much better at diving into things and letting joy happen.  Sometimes it’s hard work, sometimes it flows easily.  I’m also getting better at not expecting a lot when I open myself to experiencing something new.  Then I’m not critiquing the experience and wasting energy I could use to have fun.

I’ve always like the song Peter Pan sings about growing up ( I prefer the older version):

https://youtu.be/93yX9SFVyks   Youtube video of "I Won't Grow Up".

I’d hate to have someone have any prior expectations of the time we spend together.  I’ve done it myself.  I spend more time analyzing the time rather than letting it be time spent and enjoying the person I’m with. 

I love the way small children grab onto an experience.  They are gifted in open-mindedness.  I love the picture in my mind of a child opening a gift, setting aside what is inside the box and taking only the box somewhere to play with.  It’s hard for adults to do because we’ve had so many prior experiences (good and bad) to draw upon when we come to a situation.  

But I think it’s possible to train ourselves to be more child-like.  It takes practice and in the trying we’re already moving away from preconceived notions and rules.  

I tried to do it today.  I worked hard on diminishing the rust on my Trailblazer.  I’ve been working on it for about two months and was determined to get it ready for the final coat.  I accomplished what I wanted and now all I have to do is put the finishing paint on and I’m done.  It’s not professionally done, but it will suffice. 

I’m getting very good at creating something out of my mistakes.  There are a few misdirected primer streaks inside and outside. I over-sanded some spots and caused them to be bigger than I intended.  One of my philosophies is - - “If I don’t attempt something I won’t learn, so if I dare to be a rookie at something, I won’t be a rookie for long.”  Mistakes and frustrations are blended in the mortar mix.  It’s what makes my learning stronger.  

When I quit today I didn’t change my work clothes, grabbed my laptop and went to have coffee and write for a few hours.  The sun was in the far west when I walked home.  I told myself I wasn’t going to let the sunlight dictate whether I could do something out in the gorgeous 72 degree weather or not.  

I thought, “I’ll clean up around the entrance to my building!  If it gets dark I’ll keep working as long as I would normally work in the summer.”  I got out the rake and shears and a few other things and enjoyed the mild climate and the work.  I figured I’d quit about 7:30 p.m., go inside, clean up and eat dinner.

Picture Elizabeth Took While Hiking in Turkey

It was pretty dark.  The street lamp helped and the building lights, but not enough to see some of the weeds and leaves I was tugging at to make things look neat.  I pulled one weed and ZAP!  I got stung. Of course I couldn’t see what stung me, but my reaction was to throw whatever was in my hand away from me.  I thought, “Ah, you just thought you got stung, it was probably just a pointer on a weed that surprised you!” 

 I had no fear of getting stung in the dark.  I was enjoying my dual against the early darkness.  As I sit and write I have been putting ice on and off the area this evening, it was definitely a few stings.  Small consequence  for an enjoyable time. 

I remember trying to explain to my children, when they were young, they had to come in because it was dark.  It’s not a very rational argument unless it’s time for them to start preparing for bed. During the work-week we left in darkness and returned in darkness which meant with that rigid law there was no outdoor play together.  It didn’t take long to see how foolish a random rule  - Come Inside When It Gets Dark- really is.  Some of our best play during the school year was in the dark, with the porch light on.  

The stings on my hand taught me something else.  Life is short.  We never be able to use a crystal ball to find out what our future will be.  Not in a million years would I have predicted I’d get stung in November, in the dark.  All summer long I ducked and ran from stinging insects.  Think of all the wasted energy avoiding something and fearing something when it’s more important to live.  To have life.

I'm guessing if I let go of one rigid rule a year I'd be pretty happy by the time I'm eighty.

Hah!  I've already let go of quite a few.