Not What It Seems

Wise Old Owl On Wall in Berlin

I try to be open-minded, observe with my five senses, and be mindful of what happens around me.  I do well.  I know part of my success is from being retired.  Having the time. My schedule is usually my own.  I can take more time to make a judgement.  I don’t mean a negative tag on what I observe.  I mean taking things in and deciding what to make of the details.

I titled this post “Not What It Seems”, because I decided most of what I come across, isn’t what it seems.  I believe most all conflict in the world comes from “Thinking” we are able to calculate situations, people, settings, time and emotional climates correctly.  We judge too hastily.  We don't get the chance to look back on our judgements until it's too late.  The choices are made and we lose the ability to see the gray areas. 

Homes, In Walls of Hills, in Ukraine

My latest example is from a concert I went to last night, Kremerata Baltica.  I was annoyed at a couple of people who coughed in the middle of sweet sounds created in Hill Auditorium.  

Kremerata Baltica

My thoughts were, “Why would you come to a concert when you can’t even breathe without coughing?”  “Why don’t you coughers just leave until your coughing stops?”  “These people are coughing into the air, in MY air!”  “Really! He coughed just when it was a pause in the music!”  “If you know you have a cough, couldn’t you bring some cough drops?” (I was alone, so I didn’t voice these opinions during intermission, thank goodness!!)

It wasn’t what it seemed.  After my judgmental thoughts, I felt a tickle in my throat.  I was initially convinced I could control this tickle.  I was sure if I breathed slowly and swallow, it would subside.  This got so difficult, tears were running down my face, as I tried to not cough.  Leaving wouldn’t have been an option.  The symphony was still playing.  It wasn’t a contagious cough, it was allergy-based, I think.  I came to the concert unaware I’d have to cough.  Oops, no cough drops. I grabbed my jacket, smothered my face with it and coughed a few times.

The White Flag of Surrender Goes Up!  "Oops!"

I thought I knew the situation.  I thought I knew the people in relation to the setting.  I thought it was clear what was right and wrong.  I became the target of judgement by judging.  I’ve been told by my counselor this is what happens.  The more rigid you are with your judgements of right and wrong, the more you fear others are judging you in the same rigid way.  We have the choice to see the gray area and feel better about who we are if we judge less.

My experience was not what it seemed.  I was at a concert.  People coughed, I coughed.  The concert was heavenly.  Period.  Humility is a great teacher.