Help Break the Barriers Down

My travel journal is getting filled with food, people, places, money conversions and German phrases.  

I'm up late, writing.  Too stimulated to sleep.  

I arrived in Berlin eight days ago.  Oh, the hugs and smiles of my youngest daughter, Heidi. "Willkommen" was in every move she had to make me comfortable.  

The German Subway

She gave me a quick lesson on how to use the subway, pay for it, use it to get around Berlin, and open and close the doors to exit or enter.  She helped me see the U verses the S travel and how they connect in-between.  Never for a  minute did she doubt I could catch on and use this system, to travel on my own.

Heidi and Co-worker Emma
(at Oslo Coffee and Cafe in Berlin)

Heidi introduced me to many of her friends here.  Ellie, Isaac, Erin, Sophie, Walter, Emma and Kat.  Amazing young people to spend time with.  They received me with open arms, which impressed me.  I'm pretty sure my generation didn't open doors to an older people, in the 1970s.  I remember there being a lot of reservation and instant judgement made on someone over thirty-five.  Politeness would be shown, but not void of boundaries.

Kat took me to "The Bunker" in Berlin
(While Heidi was working)

I felt accepted for who I was, not for my age.  I didn't feel self-conscious or uncomfortable being over fifty, with young people in their twenties.  I've gone places with them, shared meals, participated in toasting "Prosit!" the German way, watched movies with them, played cards and shared stories back and forth.  I've felt at home.

I'm treated as an individual, by this younger generation, not separate.  They treat me at face value, not as someone from a collective age group. It's a transformation in thought and behavior from when I was their age. It fascinates me. I didn't think there was a chance age barriers could be torn down.  

It's made me think.  When I observe interesting events or things, I try to apply them to myself or my life.  I can't help myself.

Where the Berlin Wall Existed at One TIme

It's surprising to see young people be first to begin to break down the generational barriers.  In the past, I pictured them, like I viewed the Lower Peninsula when I was growing up in St. Ignace.  Anything south of the Mackinac Bridge was "Down there".  I saw everything from my egocentric position of "Up North".   I saw the younger generation as a separate entity.  Something I could only view from my egocentric position.  

Now, for me, I'm beginning to see the two peninsulas (generations) merged into one state, no bridge separating them.  I couldn't have done this on my own.  My daughters began the process by helping me see from a human viewpoint, insisted on it, actually. They've opened my eyes and made me more sensitive to each person, not as a part of an age group.

Maybe it's easier for them because they tend to be less judgmental than older people .  Their biases and stereotypes may not be so etched in rock. From what I see, they don't care if the older generation judges them.  They spend more energy on living their life rather than judging and categorizing others.  Or wasting time adjusting themselves so they conform.  I love it.

I learn something every day when I spend time with my daughters and their friends. It easier to be myself.  To let my guard down, give up generational pretenses and be human. I'm learning to laugh at myself, let them voice opinions without interjecting mine, try new foods, listen to new music, even to plug away at the ever-changing technology.

Heidi's Apartment Counter

I'm learning to let go of certain traditions, rules, proprieties, or customs.  I'm comfortable letting them have space to initiate their own and know they'll hang on to the ones they find dear.  I'm learning to spend time with them without a lot of pre-conceived expectations.  I'm learning to not put them in a category.  They will never cease to change.  If I don't learn or let go, I will be stuck on a different peninsula, the generational bridge growing longer and longer.

They will continue to evolve, unfold and I will stagnate.  Won't this make me more predictable, easily categorized, and easily stereotyped as the "Older" generation?  I don't want them to have the permission to predict or categorize me, either.  It would be a nightmare to believe someone in the "Younger" generation could design computer program to plug me into.  All they'd have to do is plug in my age and,

 shazam!! 

No, it would be too easy for them to get comfortable and stagnate, too.  If they always knew what to predict?  I think they would want to switch the channel to something more interesting.  It wouldn't be much effort for them to know what to say, how to react or interact with me.  if I was plugged into a mold or stereotype I would begin to be invisible.  Like in the song, Mr. Cellophane.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WKHzTtr_lNk

It isn't easy, though to help break the barriers down, we have to take some responsibility and make compromises.

Picture Draw on "The Bunker" in Berlin

With information so readily available, younger people don't want to have to look up something for an older person.  They'll help, but not without a two-way street from us.  I'm guilty, myself, for asking, "How late does "blank-blank" stay open?"  It's just as easy to look it up myself instead of relying on someone younger (because they're faster).  We'll never get faster if we don't take some responsibility.

Styles have been "Anything Goes" for a very long time, (more than 50 years!).  Being nonjudgmental may take some effort. If, as older citizens, we want to be respected as individuals, not as an age group, we have to compromise.  Making the comments, "Kids these days" or "Did you see that?" or "Is that a girl or a boy?" or stopping to stare unnecessarily at a young person's attire.  I've never seen a younger person stare at someone with a cane or a person wearing a wool coat and gloves in June.  

If we think younger people don't hear what we say in recrimination, we are already in the quicksand.  When I taught, I wouldn't allow my first graders  to disrespect each other.  We talked openly and frequently about being more the same than we were different.  If they can grasp it, I think we have a chance.

I feel there's so much promise for the future.  Change is possible and probable.  My New Year's hope is to see my generation, open their eyes to the possibilities of barriers torn down.  Then we can each be treated on our own merit, as individuals, by our younger generation.  And it would make things more interesting in our own lives, as we interact with our "Older" friends and families.

And there will be more brains working on the same issues and problems.  We have a lot to offer, but not in speeches and sermons.  They have a voice, it's a beautiful sound with amazing lyrics.