Guilt Guard

Lately, I ask myself a question.  I use this question to help me glide more. Rather than spending so much energy tacking and tacking, in an attempt to find the perfect amount of wind in my sails, I want to glide.  The perfect I might miss.  I could easily disregard the moment, because I "think" I'll be living somewhere up ahead (when I find the perfect wind), rather than gliding with what is now.

I ask myself, "What is your mind telling you about "Perfect" and do you belief it?  Is it true?

I need to question what thoughts my mind is feeding me.  I don't have to swallow each and every morsel put in front of me.  So, if my mind whispers to me, "You need to be doing something constructive right now."  I can ask, "Is that true?  Do I need to be doing anything else right now?"

3 Boys Watching the World Outside
Main Street, Ann Arbor

Content Detroit Street Artist

What is constructive, anyway?  Constructive to the world?  To me?  To an imaginary "Guilt Guard" that sits at my right hand, day and night?  The guard with the audacity to whisper judgements to me while I'm fine doing just what I'm doing.

My answer to self is, "I am content".  I'm slowly drinking my second cup of coffee, writing for my blog, sitting in my pajamas, smiling at the thought of my daughter, Elizabeth, sound asleep in the bedroom. I hear birds outside the open windows, feel a cool breeze come in now and then, and hear voices as people occasionally walk by my apartment.

Early Morning on Main Street
Ann Arbor

I've been reading three books .  I know it's quirky, but I like that about me.  Sometimes, one book just isn't enough.  Sometimes, I want to have a book in every room.  Other times, I read a book through and wouldn't think of picking up another, until it is finished.

The books are by Byron Katie, "I Need Your Love", Jennifer James, "Defending Yourself Against Criticism" and Max Ehrmann's, "Desiderata".  Each of them, in their own way, discuss the ludicrous way we believe in perfection.  The crazy habit we have of judging ourselves and others.  Holding up a standard when none is needed.  We are all different.  We are all special.  Unique.  

I'm learning.  Evolving. Drifting. Gliding.  I don't have to work so hard for the right wind to make my sails move me.  Contentment can be the sails empty of wind, rocking gently side to side, at peace with where I'm at.

Summer a season to begin….no wind, no perfection.

Desiderata Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be critical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. © Max Ehrmann 1927

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2yNJaKF9sXA   You may want to listen to Desiderata on YouTube