The Judge's Robe

My First-Grade Classroom Before Retirement

It's a Saturday morning.  I'm in St. Ignace for a few days, visiting my mom.  I have an entirely different perspective on weekends, now I'm retired.  Sitting here in the morning looking out the window, savoring my second cup of coffee and watching the seagulls and crows argue over territory, is something I'm still getting adjusted to.

I still have the urge to get going in the morning.  To "Begin".  But, I don't have to consider what day of the week it is.  I don't have to make a decision to work or play.  It has advantages, but it also can have a chaos about it.  Now that I'm resettled (and not homeless), I have some routines to establish for myself.  At the same time, I have to keep my life open and not establish a routine.  

Homeless Man on Bench in Moda, Turkey

I water my plants on Thursday, do the wash on Wednesday.  Write and read every day.  Sing and study every day.  Exercise daily. Shop whenever I need something.  I do keep in mind the work-week at the apartment office.  In case I need something, I have a 9 to 5 schedule during the week, to work around.  Garbage is collected three days a week, so it's not a problem if I miss one.  

My Little Plants in Kitchen Window

I can't say I watch the weather any more than I did when I was teaching.  I hated continuous rainy days when I was teaching.  The kids would get cooped up inside and start getting cranky and showing signs of "cabin fever",  after a couple of days.  Eventually, I'd have them get their jackets on and take them for a long walk outside, whether it was wet or not.  I'd have to look the other way, when they gravitated to every mud puddle in sight and had to stomp in it.  I ignored any teacher looking out their classroom window, scowling at me for taking the kids outside.  Now that I reflect on it, I needed to get outside as much as they did.

Pre-Retirement
Teacher Hat

When I want to go up north, I don't have to fight with Friday's vehicle-bee-line north or Sunday's exodus-south on the weekend.  I can choose other days to travel.  I can avoid air travel on the weekends, too.  

Retired Men Relaxing in Town Square, Moda

There are still a myriad amount of choices to make, but I am working on reducing the stress of self-judging right or wrong decisions.  I won't get fired, if I don't get to the library on time.  I won't get dirty looks, if I walk in the rain.  I won't get a call from my principal, if I stay home in pajamas all day.  I am the judge and jury.  I am working hard not to put on the judge's robe when I start my day. 

Plaque I Found In Ann Arbor, Michigan

Self-criticism can be harsh and unrealistic.  There's no way I would accept another person's criticism of me, the way I put up with criticism of myself.  I'm reforming.  I like to think of this problem as a symptom of a high-achiever.  I strive to learn, better myself and succeed.  But, my slave driver needs to get retrained.  I'm starting to sass back and laugh at the demands I self-impose.  I don't want to get to the point of wearing my pajamas to the store, but I have a long way to go.  It will take quite a few adjustments before I wear the retirement hat comfortably.

Looking Under Dock at Marina, St. Ignace, Michigan
A New Perspective